


Hokey Religions - Han's Thoughts

by quoththeraven5



Series: Psychic Misadventures in Space! [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Chewbacca is a good bro, Galactic Misadventures, Gen, Han Solo Snark, I See Dead People, I've got a bad feeling about this, Obi-Wan guilt trip, Psychic Abilities, Use of 'disappointed dad' voice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4148007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quoththeraven5/pseuds/quoththeraven5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since he can remember, Han Solo could see the dead. He tries not think about it, or talk about, or do much of anything on the matter. So far it has worked out pretty well - oh there were mishaps - but Han Solo is still alive and that is all that matters. </p>
<p>Then he got involved with an old Jedi and his student. Life and the hereafter just got a lot more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Beginning there was Han (and some dead people, but mostly Han)

Han sighed, the Falcon was unusually crowded today. It was always a little more cramped whenever he landed planet-side, but this was just ridiculous.

A cold shiver went through him as he passed through what looked to be a former mechanic – ‘former’ due to the fact that half of the Devaronian man’s horned face was blown off. Han could have moved around the man, but that would require that Han would have to admit that the dead mechanic was there. Han learned a long time ago that it is best to not let the dead know you see them; they never leave you alone once they notice.

When he was younger, a dirty starving scamp running through the crowds of Corellia, he hadn’t noticed. Either he was too hungry or clueless to really pay attention. He just assumed that some people walked about with mortal wounds and missing bleeding limbs, it was only when he had left planet side that he actually understood.

He was only thankful of Garris Shrike for three things: getting him off planet-side, Dewlanna, and showing him that the dead were something only Han could see.

\--**--

_Han had to meet his quota, this was only the third time he was sent down planet side and he knew the consequences of failing. Two of the kids that failed last time were forced to join the ones begging at the street corners due to their injuries._

_Han knew he wasn’t going to end up like them – no way – he was focused. Matching the pace of the crowd and using deft small fingers to snatch pocket books. There was no way he was not going to meet his quota – no way. But, there was this girl – not in that way, ew, cooties – she was standing at the entry way of an alley and she looked miserable._

_It wasn’t the obvious sort of miserable, there were no tears, but Han knew that look, he had seen it in his own reflection one to many times. There was this pull to her that Han could not shake, maybe it was her unnaturally pale skin or maybe the blood stains on her skirt. Either way, Han found himself moving towards her. He could reach his quota later._

_Han never did reach his quota._

_The girl kept asking for her parents, Han kept trying to help her, only the girl kept claiming that they lived on Feord Street and Feord Street had ceased to exist twenty-years ago. Han gave up and decided to ignore her, after all there was the quota._

_She followed him, she kept asking and asking until finally Han snapped. She cried, Han was not proud of that but now she was gone._

_Only now the time was up and Han had to return to the Trader’s Luck, without the ever important quota filled._

_To say Shrike was unhappy would be an understatement, if not filling the quota was bad enough it was Han’s explanation that truly angered the man. Apparently none of the other children saw Han helping the girl – the traitors – and now Shrike was convinced that Han was lying and had tried to run away._

_It wasn’t the beating that followed that was the most memorable, it was the little girl in her bloodied skirt standing in the back that Han remembered most clearly._

_Her name was Rea Kon and all she wanted was to find her parents. No one saw her tears, no one heard her cries, but Han._

_Even bloodied and bruised, Han saw Rea Kon. Han heard Rea Kon. Han helped Rea Kon. And now Han could barely stand._

_Helping the dead was often an unrewarding and painful process, Han tried to avoid it._

\---***---

Han had never told anyone about his ‘gift’; He was pretty sure Dewlanna had an inkling. There were only so many ways for Han to work in the loving words of her late husband into everyday conversation. The few that knew Han well enough thought that Garris Shrike was his father figure – a piss poor one at that – but no. It was Isshaddik that Han saw as his father, he was the dark sentinel guarding his wife, never leaving her side. He was with her while she cooked and with her while she comforted Han. Sometimes, if Han was lucky and really patient, Isshaddik would tell him stories in his deep gruff melodic voice. The old wookie was always trying to get Han to send messages to Dewlanna; Han tried his best, but some of them were just too hard to translate (and some things should not be entrusted to children’s ears – Han was just saying, if he blushed, there was no way he was saying those things to _anyone_ ). Isshaddik didn’t stick around after Dewlanna was killed, Han tried not to feel abandoned – he failed. He didn’t know why some people stuck around for a while and some disappeared right when they died, but Han selfishly wished he could have had his ‘ghost-dad’ a little longer.

Chewie was probably getting to the point of having the ‘inkling’ sensation. There were only so many times Han could know a certain bar was filled with imperials – dead angry rebels made for loud company – and so many times Han could know _exactly_ what hand the other sabacc player drew – dead gamblers could be very helpful sometimes. And there were the moments Chewie caught Han talking to thin air or going to enormous lengths to get across a seemingly empty room with what was probably the most awkward choreography Chewie had ever had the misfortune of seeing. Han tried to keep those last two instances down to a minimum, he was still getting use to sharing his space with someone actually living.

When he was a pilot for the empire, Han found the routine and scheduling to be most helpful, if he had his mind on those things it was infinitely easier to pretend that everything was normal and – Yes sir, Lieutenant Han Solo is indeed sane, he does not see nor commune with the dead _at all_!

It was easier when he was in uniform, when he was dressed like an Imperial Navy pilot he was not Han Solo the street-urchin who sees dead people, but Han Solo best pilot in the navy.

This method of ‘ignoring the problem until it went away’ worked beautifully, until it all went to hell in the form of Chewbacca.

Chewbacca just had to remind Han of Isshaddik, protective of the escaped child wookies to the last. Chewbacca just had to show up out of the blue and nick Han’s conscience. Chewbacca just had to be one of the few people Han had met that did not have any ghosts following him around.

Yes, Han saved Chewbacca, yes, Han was dishonorably discharged, and no, Han does not regret it.

What he does regret is his inability to completely ignore the dead. Sometimes the dead got angry and sometimes the dead knew that the only person they could physically harm was Han Solo. And sometimes Han Solo was too damn tired to pretend otherwise.    

When he was in the academy, Han tried to figure out why the hell he had this ‘gift’ (he hated calling it that, it was more of a curse, but it wouldn’t harm him to try and stay positive – _ha_! Yeah right). Han was careful, he used double and triple encryptions, never using his own datapad, and hacked into the Archives.

He learned everything he could about the Jedi. They were the only society that might have actually encountered what Han did. This ‘force’, as they called it, seemed to be attributed to a multitude and phenomena. Han had hoped it could be attributed to his ability.

That was not the case. Oh it mentioned ghosts in passing, but the description was all wrong. The dead were not semi-transparent, they did not only appear to offer advice or warnings. They were just there and they were just not there. The dead were either silent, screaming, or clueless. The dead did not interact with other dead (unless there was a mass murder or something – Han was never accidentally getting involved with mysterious cults ever again). And the dead certainly did not glow!

It was just another hokey-religion trying to make sense of a nonsensical universe. Han would later find use for all that unhelpful knowledge; of course he then had to deal with Luke pestering him on why and how he knew what he did, but that is neither here nor there.

The fact of the matter is, Han Solo could see the dead. Chewbacca was most likely catching on to the fact that his life debt is in the hands of a possibly crazy person. And Han Solo found the Force, and in consequence the Jedi/Sith, as useless and a lie.

It was only much later, when he met a certain former General Obi Wan Kenobi, that he updated his consensus. The Force, and in consequence the Jedi, was somewhat useful and everything depends on a person’s point of view. The Sith were just a bunch of douchebags.


	2. Obi-Wan Kenobi: Guilt-trip Extraordinaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han Solo had moments of regret when it came to letting that old fossil on board his ship and into his life, but don't let Chewbacca hear him say that.

Han was hesitant to take the old Jedi on board, but there was the money and Chewbacca seemed to have a soft spot the size of Coruscant for Jedi in need. Han was afraid to ask.

So now he has a suspiciously well paid transport gig with an old man that _no one_ seems to realize was _General_ Obi Wan Kenobi, some farm boy with the same last name of another famous Jedi, and two droids that had way to much personality to be natural.

Well at least the two ghosts that followed the kid around seemed to move-on on their own. They were a couple of what looked to be middle aged farmers and they would _not_ stop bickering!

The man kept grumbling about the “crazy old-hermit” and “he’s got too much of his father in him” and Han’s personal favorite, “He is going to get himself killed following that old man, if I – “

Honestly Han was too busy trying to focus on the discussion of payment to further decipher the dead smoldering man’s grumblings. The woman was taking everything very calmly, kept saying how “Luke is a young man” – “make his place in the world” – and “What do you mean ‘if you were there’? You wouldn’t do anything you foolish homebody of a farmer –“

They dissolved into incoherent bickering from there. Thankfully both worked out their marital problems _and_ found the peace to move on and out of Han’s _life_. He almost broke out into song, instead he grinned and Chewbacca was left slightly uncomfortable with the knowledge that something Chewie didn’t know about made Han Solo happy. It was never a good sign.

After the excitement of escaping the desert planet, the hyperspace ride was comparatively boring.

The pseudo-Jedi lessons were pretty interesting, if a little surreal. It was one thing to read about the Jedi-mumbo jumbo, quite another to actual hear it. It almost saddened Han that there used to be thousands of Jedi like the old fossil spouting confusing wisdom and explaining riddles with more riddles all throughout the galaxy.

It was at that point that said ‘old fossil’ began to start really paying attention to the enigma that was Han Solo.

\---***---

Han Solo was an enigma wrapped in a paradox folded into a conundrum. Obi-Wan didn’t realize it at first, the smuggler simply oozed ‘care-free rogue’, but he embodied it so well that no one would have given him a second look. There-in lay the enigma, what type of person would put on a front so conspicuous in order to hide something? Thus the paradox, a smuggler hiding something is to be expected, but Obi-Wan got the distinct feeling that what he was hiding had nothing to do with an unsettled debt or unwanted cargo. And now the conundrum.

The smuggler and his Wookie companion, who seemed vaguely familiar, were quite content to leave their passengers alone in relative peace. Some small talk here and there as well as some games to stave off the boredom of hyperspace, but it was when Obi-Wan began to explain and instruct Luke on the ways of the Force that something changed.

It wasn’t uncommon for there to be observers to his lessons, the ship wasn’t that large. It wasn’t even uncommon for Captain Solo to be one of those casual observers, multitasking with a datapad. What was unusual was the feeling of sadness that permeated the man when Obi-Wan spoke of the Jedi.

It was an impersonal sadness, a sadness of a student suddenly realizing that there were not going to be any more lessons from an instructor that never truly made an impact but had imparted some knowledge to the student anyway. It wasn’t deep and scorching, but it was sadness all the same. Why would a Corellian smuggler feel sorrow for an old man instructing his student?

Especially when the smuggler continued to scoff at the teachings, denying the true vastness of the Force. Hokey religion, indeed.

It was later that Obi-Wan found Han Solo to not just be an enigma wrapped in a paradox folded into a conundrum, but shrouded in a veil mystery as well.

\---***---

At first Han Solo couldn’t figure out why Luke was yelling for the old-fossil. The man was fine, he was just standing by the infamous Darth Vader without a care in the world, no need to be upset about it. But then he saw the cloak and the saber lying on the ground – damn.

There was no time to get ‘Old Ben’s’ nonexistent remains, they had been spotted and they needed to leave _now_! Han felt sort of bad for dragging the kid away and then subsequently leaving him to her worship’s clutches, but it was kind of hard to when the old fossil was _right there_!

So instead of his own brand of comfort – namely alcohol – Han Solo retreated to the cockpit with Chewie, carefully avoiding the old Jedi standing near the corridor.

Chewbacca refrained from asking his friend why he felt the sudden need to avoid a _particular_ spot on the flooring and simply followed suit. Han would tell him when it became relevant, maybe.

\---***---

Han felt pretty proud of himself, he had not clued in Kenobi of his ability to see the old fossil. It wasn’t too hard considering all the stuff going on with the rebels; Luke was kept busy with the princess and becoming an X-wing pilot, and Obi-Wan was never too far from the kid.   

Don’t get him wrong, Han is pretty sure the old Jedi knew _something_ was up; the old man kept giving Han shifty looks. It was making Han nervous.

Thankfully, he was getting his payment today. He never had to see that old coot again! (Chewie made some grumblings about abandoning their friends, but Han was staying focused – he _was_! There is no room for doubt – so sir, no doubt in sight).

Little did he know that one late Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi was an expert in the art of guilt trip. In all honesty it didn’t take a lot; Chewie always said that Han had a gooey marshmallow center – Han tried to ignore that, but secretly he admitted that Chewie was onto something.

The Falcon had made a clean getaway, he and Chewie said their goodbyes and the imperials were distracted by the rebels; it was perfect.

Except for the fact that one Obi-Wan _freaking_ Kenobi decided to stay on board, stand right behind his cockpit seat and just kept talking.

\---***---

“I am very disappointed in you, Captain Solo,” Obi-Wan sighed as he stood behind the Corellian as they reached for hyperspace. He had hoped the young man would have grown attached to Luke in their little misadventure – well, at least Chewbacca agreed with him. That argument between the two was very entertaining.

Turning toward the captain, giving his most potent and practiced glare, “Very disappointed indeed.”

Was that a twitch?

Yes, yes it was.

Obi-Wan turned fully toward the side of his chair, full height looming over the man, a calm controlled litany of words cascaded from ‘The Negotiator’s’ metaphysical mouth, “How could you leave them? They _need_ you, Luke trusts you. Are you really going to take the rebel alliance’s money and leave them to the Empire? Where is your honor? Your kindness? Your – “

“Okay Already! I’ll go back! Geeze! Enough with the guilt trip!”

Obi-Wan Kenobi smirked, he still had it.

\---***---

Chewbacca was staring at him funny, Han tried to ignore it.

Okay, so he did just yell out into a silent cockpit without any reasonable explanation. But could you blame him? That old-fossil was using his ‘disappointed dad’ voice; Isshaddik had used that one more than once and it really left an impression on Han. (Don’t ask about the language difference, it’s all in the tone… and the eyes, definitely the eyes).

Fortunately Chewie wasn’t asking questions, he just turned the ship around and booked it back to what was most likely the mother of all cluster-fucks of a battle. He was such a good friend; if Han was actually alone with Chewbacca right now, and maybe a little (okay a _lot_ ) drunk, he would definitely hug the Wookie.

But he wasn’t alone with Chewbacca, Kenobi was standing there smirking at him ( _stupid nerf-herder_ ), and he was sadly not drunk. Han really wished he was, it would have made this _so_ much more bearable.

Eventually, the old fossil faded away. It was a little strange, it wasn’t like the old man had moved-on (when that happens, the dead are simply there until they aren’t). Kenobi _faded_ , and yes there is a difference. It actually reminded Han of what he had read about all those years ago, glowing force ghosts and all.

Han figured those Archives weren’t entirely full of shit, and if they were right then Luke was probably getting metaphysical advice from a glowy ephemeral Obi-Wan Kenobi. _Sucker_.

 


	3. Three Jedi Masters vs. One Han Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the battle of Endor, the Millennium Falcon has gained three new passengers; Han laments at his circumstances in life.

He didn’t know why, but a _lot_ of dead Jedi have been following him around lately. Han did not appreciate it. For a bunch of really old crazy wise guys, they were _really_ immature! (Especially the short wrinkly green one, he had a tendency to force Han into giving him impromptu piggy-back rides) And to make it even worse, ‘Old Ben’ brought along a twin – a long haired stoically maverick twin. _Those two_!!! Han Solo was at his wits end, they had sarcastic narrations for _everything_!! And whenever the green little troll did something, those two only laughed or smirked or – well they did a lot of things, _none_ of it helped Han.

Why couldn’t they just bother Luke? Wasn’t that what force ghosts were supposed to do? They were Jedi for _force’s_ sake! Shouldn’t they have a little decorum?!! Just because Han was the only one that could see them all the time did not mean they could drive him to insanity!

-Wait… what is that Qui-Gon character doing at his ship’s controls?!  

\---***---

Luke couldn’t help but notice that Han looked a little stressed. There was no reason for him to be, they had only just left Endor’s forest moon and were on their way to the nearby fleet. The former smuggler should be relaxed and making googly eyes at Leia, not twitching at the cockpit and glaring into the distance.

All Luke could feel from the Force was annoyance and exasperation, it wasn’t directed at him and no one else was even near the cockpit to catch Solo’s ire. To put simply, Luke was confused and maybe a little worried.

“Han –?”

The aforementioned rebel general froze, as if forcing himself not to jump out of his seat. Luke winced in sympathy at the man’s tensed muscles. Han let out a hesitant “Yes…?” He refused to turn around.

Luke sighed, sometimes that man was infuriating; he did not know how Chewie did it. Oh right, Chewie is inconspicuously absent at the moment – that’s how he did it. “Are you all right? You seem a little tense.”

At that moment Han turned around. He had plastered on a sharp wide fake smile, “I’m fine Luke, don’t worry so much.”

Luke would have almost believed him, if Han’s left eye wasn’t twitching and if Han’s smile was a little less on the disturbing homicidal side. Luke gulped, the true sign of maturity was to know when one is in over one’s head, “Yeah, okay… I’m gonna go talk to Leia … or something. Bye!”

Luke under no circumstances ran away from his friend, if anything he was walking away with quickened purpose. So quickly he almost didn’t catch Han’s grumblings of “fucking Jedi, never leaving me alone… go away!”

He was man enough to let Leia handle this, it was more to her expertise anyway. At least that’s what Luke told himself.

\---***---

Qui-Gon snickered as the young blonde Jedi made a strategic retreat from his friend. When Obi-Wan told him of the Corellian’s ability he didn’t quite believe it, but he certainly did now. He hadn’t had the chance to be this mischievous for a long time.

It was strange to see his former padawan as a wizened old man, but laughing at each other’s’ antics like this almost made him forget all the time that had passed between them.

“Go away we should? Think not I do.” Yoda was sitting in the copilot’s chair grinning at the young man’s exasperation. Obi-Wan snickered behind the old master, seeming to be younger for it.

The Corellian they were currently tormenting merely groaned, face resting in his hands, “Why is this my life?”

Qui-Gon smirked, they were going a little hard on the poor fellow, “None of us rightly know, your abilities are a complete mystery to us. Not even the Force is deigning to shed some light on this young Solo.”

The young man glared, his hazel eyes shimmering with his distaste at the situation, and growled “I know that! You don’t think I didn’t hack into your precious Archives to see if it was connected to your precious Force?”

At this both Obi-Wan and Master Yoda straightened in surprise, all previous signs of mirth gone from their features.

Qui-Gon remained silent, letting his grief flow into the Force, whenever those two got like that memories of what occurred in the Temple so long ago were never far from their thoughts.

Obi-Wan, posture stiff with a ringing tension, tentatively asked, “The Archives are still there? You’ve hacked into them? How? When? – “

Han Solo raised his hand to stop what he knew was going to be an onslaught of questions, face serious with the knowledge that these metaphysical Jedi were done being playful. It was almost as if the young man could feel their collective pain as old memories were dredged to the surface. He spoke in a steady quiet voice, forever cognizant of the fact that to others he was speaking to empty space, “It was a long time ago when I was at the Imperial Academy studying to be a pilot. I was at the one stationed on Coruscant and I’m old enough to remember a bit of the Clone Wars. I knew the Jedi were heroes” a self-deprecating smile grace his features as he turned to Obi-Wan “My personal favorite was ‘The Negotiator’ by the way.”

Obi-Wan graced Solo with a soft saddened smile, “Really? I pegged you for a ‘Hero With No Fear’ fan.”

The Corellian snorted in quiet humor, “Nah, I never understood the ‘no fear’ gig – I could just never relate. Plus, I loved the red hair.”

That had Obi-Wan chuckling and Yoda smiling. Qui-Gon was really starting to like the lad.

Solo took in a deep breath and continued, “I knew you guys had special ‘powers’ from the holovids I saw as a kid and I figured if anyone knew what was going on with me the Jedi would. I was wrong. Trust me, I scoured through the entire Archive, even the restricted stuff; which, let me tell ya’, was a bitch and half to get to. There was nothing mentioned, all that was there were the glowy force ghosts Luke sees you guys as. That’s not what I see. What I am has nothing to do with the Force. Hell, I even tried your meditation exercises, Empty, Moving – you name it I tried it. Nothing.”

Qui-Gon and the other two Jedi remained silent through Solo’s tirade, the young man had accomplished quite a feat if he had truly combed through the entirety of the Archive.

When Han Solo finally noticed the oppressive silence that persisted after his outburst, the young man automatically looked to Obi-Wan for an explanation only to meet a small wistful smile on the wrinkled face.

Qui-Gon smiled, his padawan had certainly grown to be a great Jedi Master if he alone was looked to for guidance by such a belligerent young man.

Obi-Wan answered, wistful smile still in place, blue eyes twinkling, “So the Archives are still there.”

“Yes, last time I checked,” was Solo’s hesitant answer, hazel eyes still locked on Obi-Wan, as if expecting some divine revelation.

It was not Obi-Wan who answered Solo’s unasked question of ‘what now?’; it was Master Yoda, hobbling up to stand on the cockpit chair, turning to stare into Han Solo’s eyes.

“Tell young Skywalker of this you must.”

\---***---

_Fuck._

How the hell was he supposed to do that? _‘Hey Luke, guess what I conveniently forgot to mention the_ entire _time you knew me?’_ He couldn’t do that, the kid was starved for information on the Jedi. And if he found _Han_ had an entire lexicon of that knowledge in his head, it would break the kid’s heart that Han didn’t tell him sooner.

“I wouldn’t expect the worse from Luke quite yet Han. The boy can surprise you in his compassion; especially considering that there is nothing to forgive.”

Great, there was Obi-Wan with his creepy insightful wisdom. Han sighed, he would tell Luke about the Archives, but that’s it. “I can’t tell him about what I see okay? I’ll tell him about the Archives and what I know, but I can’t tell him about this.”

It was Obi-Wan that sighed now, oh no, that meant ‘disappointed dad’ voice. Han could not handle that right now, so he opted to interrupt the old fossil before the man could get a word in edge-wise, “Look I’ll tell him eventually alright? I just have to tell Chewie first, the old Wookie deserves that much after all he’s had to put up with on my account.”

Han met Obi-Wan’s blue eyes to see a tired understanding in them. He looked around to the other two Jedi crowding his space to see much the same.

_Shit_.

They were on to him. They all knew Han was going to keep this secret for as long as he could, even if it killed him.

One of the lights started to flash, they were exiting light speed. As Han began to focus on the controls, he mentally forced a reminder on himself to talk to Luke about the Archives. Force knows those old Jedi would never leave him alone if he forgot.

He resolutely ignored the three sets of all too understanding eyes on him. Han tried to push down the quivering scared child, beaten into the understanding that he was a freak and an aberration, into the back of his mind. From the compassionate silence in the cockpit, Han doubted he succeeded.


	4. Revelations from Both Sides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han realizes who's family he is going to marry into.

Luke stared across the small table at Han. Han shifted his eyes to the side, never deigning to stare back. Luke sighed, Han had been working up to say something to him for over an hour. The older man’s anxiety had been cloying all day; Luke had finally gotten tired of Han’s shifty-ness and sat the man down. Han needed to say something, Luke did not need the Force to know that, and so Luke opted to nudge (more like bludgeon) the man into doing so.

Han shifted awkwardly in his seat, eyes quickly glancing at the back corner of the room, then returning to stare at Luke. The man took a breath and shifted again, remaining silent.

Luke stifled a scream in frustration. He could just hear Obi-Wan repeating _patience young one, patience_. Screw patience, “Just spit it out Han! You’re anxiety is going to start giving me hives if you keep this up!” Luke then, of course, responsibly released his frustration and worry into the Force; because he was a Jedi and that’s what Jedi do. (Well they probably release such feelings before the outburst, but that’s just semantics).

Han flinched and bit his lip, looking back to the same corner of the room. Luke was about nudge – bludgeon – his friend along again when Han began to speak.

“So….” Well, he tried to at any rate, still shifting, still wringing his hands. Until words _finally_ exploded from the former smuggler’s mouth.

“Let’s say, hypothetically, I may or may not have hacked into the entirety of the Jedi Archives while I was training to become a pilot in the Imperial Navy. And, hypothetically, I basically memorized a shit-ton of useless fact as well as left back door encryptions into said Archives…”

Luke sat in silence, and then simply went for the default expression his brain afforded him with, “What?”

Han looked down at the table, wincing as his voice went higher as if questioning his resolve to have this conversation, “I might know a lot more about Jedi than I had let on when we met – and all the time afterwards…sorry?”

Luke pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, and here he was worrying it was a fight with Leia. Granted he was a little miffed Han didn’t admit to having this information before, okay a _lot_ miffed, he was practically flying blind with this Jedi thing. However, his relief with not having to calm Leia down after Han said/did something stupid was the far more prevalent.

So Luke simply tried channeling his inner Ben, and said, “I wish you told me that sooner,” the older man seemed to shrink in on himself, Luke opted to ignore that response for the moment and barreled on, “But thank you for telling me now.” Then Luke decided to try the ‘patience’ thing and waited for Han to make a response.

It took a while, but when Han looked up, hazel eyes surprisingly calm, and asked, “That’s it? You’re not mad?”

“A little, yes, but now this means I can ask you a bunch of questions!” Han let out a slight smile at his enthusiasm before turning into a silent beseeching frown as Luke continued, “And this means you can get me into the Archives and help me sort through _everything_!!”

Han groaned in defeat.

\---****---

The kid was giving him a thousand watt grin, damn him. There was no way Han could say no to that face, not to mention the firestorm he would ignite if he crushed Leia’s twin’s enthusiasm.

Three Jedi snickered behind him, ugh, they weren’t so bad if Han was being completely honest. Sometimes Han even found it enjoyable to talk to them, but lately they were being slightly infuriating. It wasn’t even their disappointment that he hadn’t told Luke of his ‘abilities’ yet, it was their omission of information about mute-tall-dark-and-brooding standing over in the corner of _every_ room Han happened to walk into.

Obi-Wan only ever offered the maddening Jedi-idioms of “ _He will tell you in his own time”_ , “ _trust in the Force; all will be explained”_ , and Han’s personal favorite, “ _just ignore him, he’s and old friend, you’ll be fine”_. That old man was messing with him, Han knew it.

The mysterious brooding-stalker-man did not seem at all old enough to be considered an ‘old friend’ to the fossil, but he did seem to be dressed like a Jedi – with the cloak, under tunic, over tunic, the tabard, the utility belt – shit, he knew way to much Jedi vocabulary.

It’s just the man didn’t _act_ like a Jedi, at least not like the three Han knew first hand. The man never talked, he never smiled, he only glared – at Han! Han did not know what the man’s problem was, but oh Force, did he cock-block.

He never left Han alone and whenever Leia was around, he simply _loomed_! Mr. talk-dark-and-scary loomed in the corner of their room, he loomed over Leia’s shoulder when Han was _just_ about to kiss her, he _loomed_ on their dates!

Han simply couldn’t take it anymore, the man resembled a Jedi enough that Luke might have seen him at some point. Maybe he could convince Luke that he was Force-sensitive or something, and the kid could shed light on the stalker situation because the other Jedi were definitely not going to.

Han took a breath and plunged into the depths of his truths, maybe, just this once, he could try telling his secrets.

\---***---

Luke quietly waited for Han to calm down from his silent panic attack; he wasn’t quite sure what was going with the other man, but Luke knew how to be patient dammit! (He did, shut up conscience that vaguely sounds like Obi-Wan). So, Luke calmly and quietly prodded his friend to continue, “Force Han, just tell me already!”

Well, it wasn’t exactly calm or quiet, but Luke just figured calm and quiet would not work on the likes of Han Solo.

Han clenched his hands, nervous energy crackled through the Force, “Okay, this may sound weird, but just hear me out.”

Luke was silent, fear was mixed into the nervousness now; it was no time for jokes or needling. Han needed a friend, and that was exactly what Luke was going to be.

“Have you – maybe – seen a tall glowy person with wavy-ish hair about, let’s say shoulder length with Jedi clothing?” Han was beginning to get jittery, the nervous fearful energy surrounding him starting to show physical manifestations.

Luke frowned in thought, that description seemed very familiar, “Does he have a scare across his face?”

It was then that Han’s face brightened, hazel eyes shining in feverish excitement, white teeth gleaming in a crazed grin, “You’ve seen him too!!!”

“Well, yeah. He’s my father.”

\---***---

What. The. _Fuck_!!?

The creepy stalker dead man was Luke’s father – who was Darth Vader – who was father of Luke – who Leia’s father – who was Darth Vader!

Holy shit. What the fuck. Darth Vader was following him around this entire time!! No wonder he was so good at looming, it was part of his job description!

\--

It was then that Han realized he said all of that out loud.

Luke was staring at him gob smacked, “What do you mean ‘following you around’?”

_Fuck_. Han was going to have to actually tell him everything now won’t he?

Han stubbornly ignored the smirking Jedi behind him and began to tell Luke his life story with the dead as the major and minor players. Simultaneously, of course, putting his silent freak-out about the looming figure in the far corner of the room to the back of his mind. After all, if he ignored the problem it might, by some miracle, go away. Sadly, Han Solo was rarely, if ever, an optimist.

\---***---

If there was one thing Obi-Wan Kenobi could count on, it was Anakin’s persistence. That man truly wanted to be the best father he could be. Of course, the infuriating man was a little late for that, but Anakin could more than make up for it with his protective streak for his ‘little princess’.

Obi-Wan held back a chuckle at that, Leia had grown into a very strong woman, she had no need for a former Sith Lord to protect her virtue.

He admits to feeling a little guilty of letting Han suffer Anakin’s glower for so long, but it had the needed effect. The Corellian was finally opening up to one of his friends – more to follow, of that Obi-Wan was sure.

Now to make it up to the young man – Obi-Wan left his comfortable perch beside his two former Masters. No one should ever have to suffer an eternal brooding Anakin, especially if his former padawan ever wanted any grandchildren. 


	5. Unto the Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han discovers honesty isn't all that it's cracked up to be and really starts to wish he had the presence of mind to invent ghost repellent.

Han took a deep calming breath as he gently guided the Falcon onto the designated landing platform. It had been a long week, who knew revealing your deepest darkest secret to one’s best friends could be so tiring. Han always thought talking about things were supposed to calm him down and help him get over his issues, but in all honesty it just replaced them. Now instead of enduring the attentions of the dead in silence, Han is always questioned by the living surrounding him.

_-Hey Han what’s Obi Wan doing right now – Han what is General Kenobi’s opinion on our mission against the Imperial base on Geonosis? – Can you tell Yoda that I finally got that lifting the x-wing thing down? –_

And so on. The only one who wasn’t constantly interrogating him was Chewie, but then again Chewie was the only person not entirely surprised by Han’s confession.

\---***---

_Han went to Chewie immediately after telling Luke, his guilty conscience would never let him do otherwise. After all, it was Chewie that had to deal with Han’s idiosyncrasies the longest. Hell – the old wookie probably had a theory already on what was going on._

_Looking at his best friend standing before him in silence, Han began to regret his tendency to word vomit in tense situations. Don’t get him wrong, he could con and swagger like the best of them, but when it came to honesty among friends – well, that was always an issue with him, seeing that Han had no experience with it._

_It was in Han’s nervous fidgeting that his truth began to unfold in quick stuttering steps. He told the exact same thing to Luke, and later to Leia, leaving out the parts that truly kept him up at night. After all, he didn’t want to cause this new makeshift family of his to worry._

_The things a wookie can say with silence could fill a space station, Han really wished he could have lived his whole life without personally experiencing the concept. The silence did not, in truth, last long, but it felt like eons before his friend spoke. Chewie’s rough voice, as always, was calm and clear._

_Chewbacca smiled and spoke, breaking his internal contemplation, “I know little-star-flinger (Han), on Kashyyk we have names for folk like you. You, little-star-flinger (Han), are a Seeker-of-Thought/Will/Life.”_

_Han opted to focus on his friend’s words rather than action – he decided he could freak out, and most likely sob, over Chewie’s calm acceptance later – “I thought that was what you called Jedi? What I can do has nothing to do with the Force.”_

_Chewbacca huffed and shook his head, like he would when a small child said something ridiculous in ignorance, “There are more than one kind of Seeker-of-Thought/Will/Life. You are simply one not connected to the Force-Thought/Will/Life, you are of a different kind.”_

_“Well,” Han crossed his arms in a failed attempt to comfort his frying nerves, to think this entire time – Chewie had a name for what Han was, a name that hopefully did not translate to something horrible, “Don’t leave me in suspense buddy, what am I?”_

_Placing a warm furry hand on Han’s shoulder in comfort, Chewie answered, “You are connected to something for more base/mortal; you are a Seeker-of-Thought/Will/Life connected to the Death-Thought/Will/Life.”_

_Seeing Han shuddering and growing pale at the word ‘Death’, Chewbacca hastened to further is explanation, including a breath taking hug for his young friend in his clarification, “Silly little-star-flinger (Han), your Seeking is nothing for you to fear – Death is not some adversary, it simply is. It does not touch you, only offer you clarity by way of the spirits/friends/ancestors. Your Seeking is rare in my culture/home/forest, but those we know/learn/understand to have had this Seeking have proven to be the wisest of us all.”_

_Chewbacca continued to hold onto Han after his words were spoken, seeing that the young man was certainly not opting to escape Chewbacca’s embrace. And when Han mumbled “I don’t want to be wise” and a small patch of fur near his shoulder began to dampen – Chewbacca kept his silence._

\---***---

Han grimaced slightly at the memory – it wasn’t for his crying on Chewie’s shoulder like a child, not entirely – but for Chewie’s belief that what Han could do would not touch him. It almost sounded like Chewie thought Han was a simple observer, but what Han could do was so much more than that.

He sighed and finished up his landing protocols, studiously ignoring the quiet Jedi in his cockpit. Obi-Wan and Yoda felt particularly morose today, but it was to be expected – after all, today was the day that Han was taking Luke and Leia for a sneaky recon mission of the Coruscant Jedi Temple.

Don’t ask him why the twins couldn’t just access the Archives from one of Han’s handy back door encryptions he may or may not have gotten from a long dead Bothan university student. He didn’t want to think on their reasoning or their Force hunches – he had a bad feeling about this.

After all, from what Han could gather, a great majority of the Jedi were massacred there, not to mention tall-dark-and-brooding had been conspicuously absent ever since the announcement of their plans. Han didn’t like this one bit.

Han could touch the dead, but he really wished his friends wouldn’t have to come to the terrifying realization that the dead could touch him back. 

\---***---

The temple was empty – not that Luke expected anything different – but what truly disturbed him was the quiet in the Force. There were no ephemeral breezes bringing shadows of thoughts, nor any memories brought to him like sand sifting through his fingers. In the Force, the temple was as quiet and dead as a mausoleum.

Luke felt maybe a little too relieved at this development – don't get him wrong, Luke was sure that if he came when the temple was alive and bustling the Force would have made the most beautiful of songs – but if the Force was quiet, that meant it wasn't screaming. Luke could live with the silence.

\---***---

The temple was crowded – for some reason Han had let himself have the foolish hope that the dead Jedi would be self-aware enough to move-on before he got there, but that was obviously not the case. Luckily none of the Jedi noticed Han's ability to see them, but with so many present it was only a matter of time.

Unlike most of the dead Han had encountered, these specters were cognizant enough to notice the strangers in their midst. They seemed more interested in Luke and Leia than Han, Chewie, and the droids. So, win for the non force users!  

Han doubted with such a high concentration of dead people the temple wasn't terribly quiet, but the murmur of voices were very disconcerting and worrying. These people were not trying in vain to speak to the living, no, they were conversing with each other. Han had only dealt with a group of cognizant ghosts once – and it was not an experience he wanted to relive.

With this in mind, Han kept himself safely behind the large fuzzy barrier that was Chewbacca and settled for the two droids as his rear guard. He was almost certain that no one else noticed.

\---***---

Leia noticed Han acting a little shifty from the very moment they entered the dusty Temple. She chose not to comment knowing his acerbic response to her spoken concern would certainly not help matters. Let the smuggler be to his coping mechanisms – once they stopped working _then_ she would offer to help, after all that would be the only time he would be willing to receive it.

"From the maps, it looks like the Archives will be on the far northern side of the Temple", Leia pointed out to a distracted Luke, probably trying to sense something in the Force – not that she could feel anything.

"All right, should we head there first? Or explore?"

Leia sighed, she heard the hopeful lilt in those last words, "The Temple has most likely been looted many times Luke, we won't find anything - " _poodu_ she looked into his eyes, "But if we see something on the way, I'm sure we can afford to stop and investigate."

She tried not to smile ruefully as Luke all but skipped down the cavernous hallways, but she failed miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for the lateness of this update. I am so sorry... But I do really enjoy this story and I would like to say that the reason for my writer's block is because Disney killed my space!Dad (i.e. Han Solo). However, my inability to write this fic occurred long before that movie, so I cannot claim that to be the reason. (Kilo Ren - never forgive, never forget).  
> \---  
> Notes on Chewie: for the conversation between Han, in my head Shyriiwook is a very complicated language and does not translate over to English easily. So some words in Shyriiwook can mean one thing that takes a variety of words in English to say (i.e. know/learn/understand is one word in Shyriiwook, but in Han's head as, he translates, it is three words etc.)  
> As for Chewie's Shyriiwook name for Han (Little-star-flinger), it just came to my head and I thought it was sweet.


End file.
